Wow, been a while since I spilled my guts to everyone who wants to see or cares. Hmph. Whatever.

Anyway, moving on. Lots of things have happened since last entry. Going to a new school for senior year, and art school. Applying to art colleges all over CA, taking an art class (in which i seem to be allergic to charcoal pencils.), and my favorite: ACTIG MY ASS OFF!!!

About the acting, I got a cold call from a dance studio I have been taking lessons at. Every so often, the local conservatory theatre will outsource to the dance studio for kids who can sing and act and dance. So, i got the call and had to get to the audition in 20 minuted before they closed it off. When I got there, I said a few lines and sang a tune. What happened? I got put at the top of the cast of "Annie" as Oliver Warbucks. Personally, I'm thrilled. It's my first part with solo's and the music is pretty easy to remember. I guess the girl playing Annie and I do well in a scene together because we made the director and voice teacher cry, so i felt special about that. I'll be posting some before/after pics of me because I will be shaving my head for the part in this play.

The art classes I'm in is at the nearby art college and they count as college grade so that is two less pains in my ass when I get in to an art college. It's wierd, I think I'm allergic to charcoal. I'm fine until everyone starts to sharpen their charcoal pencils, then I hack and snort and wheeze like a chain-smoker with cancer of the life. And the symptoms last until I get it all out of my system the next day, only to enjoy an hour of non-stuffy nose while I make breakfast before driving to school to get charcoaled up once again.

Other than that, I've been practicing photoshop and am coloring some lineart 'Hamdiggy' did of the three main characters of the WoT. Also been working, slowly and surely, on my novel. No release date yet, but it's getting there.

Yay, things are looking up, finally. I have been enveloped in school for too long. Now, I am headed to NY for thanksgiving and I am bringing my sketchbook. I have decided to draw and photoshop a book cover for my book that I am resuming to write. So things are looking up.

Here I am again, school is stressing me out, my writer's/ artists block is gone, my friends went to go see ironman without me... so my outlook on life currently is... meh.

Ok, so here is my present situation... werewolves... they're f'ing awesome! Seeing how Behemoth spoke so highly of 'Dog Soldiers', I rented it... and loved it. So now i have new inspiration for my book and my art.

Everything is half and half; my artistic side is flourishing while i am burning more than a burning oil well surrounded by flamethrowers in school... priorities

yeah, that kinda sums this up. school sucks but studio art III is perty fun. been workin my ass off and had maybe 5 weeks of summer. but, im over my dog dying, yeah it sucks but it happens.

i guess you could desacribe my mood as 'i don't give a rats canoose'

i also made the school comedy team, they think im funny? then theyre stuuuupid

It was 1998, my parents drove me and my older brother to the arport o meet the new member of our family. We arrived at the baggage claim to find some security guards cooing at a small plastic crate. inside was a tricolor (brown, black, white) welsh corgi puppy the size of a loaf of bread. My mom told me it was my time to have my own dog since my brother had one too. That was one of the happiest days of my life. I raised that dog and loved him like i loved my brother. we went everywere together, the beach, the mountains, the desert, you name it. then in 2005 he was diagnosed with lymphoma but we were able to get him kemo-therepy and he was fine for about a year and a half.

-memorial day weekend- 5/29/07-
we were at the desert, one of bears favorite spots because he would love to bask in the sun and run on the golf course. his lymphoma was really bad, he couldn't eat, he could barely drink, and he was having trouble breathing. so i decided that after finals i would put him to sleep because he was obviously suffering.

-5/29/07-school-

i had just finished my art class when at 9:25 i got a txt from my mom saying: "Bear is with augie(my prothers late dog) now. he passed peacefully in my arms." i threw my phone on the cement shattering it in my blind rage, sorrow, fear, and regret. I tried not to cry because other students started to come out of their classrooms to go to convocation as i was. The night before, i prayed to God that he would take bear and give him a good place that was well earned in heaven. it appears that God had taken bear sooner than i had planned and ended his suffering sooner. now it is before finals and i feel as if a large part of me went into the eternal void with my dog.
my eyes are raw with tears, my face is cracked with salt, i cry as i write this journal, my knuckles bloody from punching my locker in my anguish trying not to concentrate on my pained heart.

if i submit any deviations soon, they will for sure be my darkest.